===== Arboretum, SB 485 ===== The art gallery Scott had recommended turned out to be everything Shane had hoped for plus some. Not only did the owner recognise Shanes description of the Ricewind picture, but he could, he said, get a copy within three or four days. Of course it was not the big as the original Ricewind one he used to have in his room on the 'old' Chimera ... it was even bigger! Happy that their shopping trip had been a success, Shane and Rangi continued their plans and went to the arboretum. "This is really lovely isnt it?" Rangi asked looking up at the golden canopy of leaves about their heads.She squeezed Shanes hand and looked at him, happiness clear to see in her greyish blue eyes. "You look very smart." she told him, referring to the new jacket he wore and letting go of his hand, linked her arm into his instead. Shane smiled at his beloved and replied with a little grin: "Thank you Rangi. You look very sexy in this outfit, you know? Its quite hard to think on other things." Truely, Rangi was clad in a pair of jeans that seemed molded to her body. Beneath an open jacket, a shirt the colour of burnished copper, outlined her figure to perfection. The arboretum for surprisingly large and they had chosen to visit the 'Autumn' section, because Rangi suggested it when Shane said he didnt mind which part they visited first. So now they walked along an avenue littered with fallen leaves, red, gold, copper, brown and some green but tinged with yellow. It was quite surprising that such a small station as Starbase 485 did have such a wonderful aboretum. Of course, the little arboretum on board the Chimera was small like a well compared to a business-class pool. Divided into dedicated sections, it offered relaxation almost for anyone. They arrived at a crossway in the path and deciding to turn left came, in a short time, to a small fountain that played into a stone pool, whose edges were partly covered in moss. Sunlight filtered through the leaves and sparkled on the water. Now and then fallen leaves coasted down to the surface and floated there until they caught under the fountains drops where they bobbed and swirled and were often submerged. It was peaceful and beautiful and for a few moments they stood beside the fountain watching it. Then they wandered on, arm in arm and for a while they walked along a narrow path silently ... Shane lost in his thoughts. Rangi too found herself thinking of the last mission and eventually said: "You know?..I dont think I've ever felt so helpless." She looked down at the leaves then away into the distance. "There were so many that needed me and I could do absolutely nothing." Her lips formed a tight line. She glanced at Shane then looked at the path ahead."They aged before my eyes!...there was no computer access ... nothing I could research..noone I could ask....and I knew they were dying" She felt a rush of tears and blinked them away. "I just can't believe that that woman..Palmer...withheld things from us. Even when it was obvious we were on a one way mission..." Rangi didnt end her sentence but looked again into the trees. Shane nodded slowly. "Thats among the most terrible thing one can experience. Seeing death and being powerless to help those who were suffering. " After a small pause he continued: "And another thing is the responsibility. I know you feel personally responsible for your staff and all of your patients ... as I feel for the whole crew. But there is one thing you cant avoid being a senior officer .... sending your friends to danger .... even death, knowing that you cant help them in any way if there will go something wrong. " After an another pause he continued: "Palmer did what she was told by SSF Command. To say the truth I do understand the reasons SSF COMM had to keep all this top secret ... but I dont agree with such a politics ... as I mostly dont agree with all the Intel business in SSF ..." his voice trailed off ... Rangi considered his words. They were true ofcourse. Everything that SSF command did was 'secret' to some degree but it did not sit easily with her to stand helpless as 'her' crew died. She looked at him and was struck by something she had noticed since the mission ended.Not an expression exactly but something that was 'different'. "Shane." she asked softly. "Tell me whats wrong." Caught by surprise Shane first looked at Rangi with a strange look in his eyes. He blinked once or twice and the strange look was gone. It was Shane again. "Wrong?" he wondered, "there is nothing wrong my love. We both are here, having free time and the arboretum is just lovely ... why should be there anything wrong?" "I dont know...but there is." She looked at him, searching his face for a clue. "When I first saw you on the Bridge, you worried me." She paused unable to describe what she meant. " That whole mission was so terrible.....and I thought at first it was just the whole situation..lack of sleep.... responsibility...the way things went...but there was something else. " She moved to stand in front of him. "The tiredness has gone and you're relaxed...but its still there.I can see it..here." Her fingers gently touched his right cheek bone."Something has changed..." "Ah" Shane sighed. With his left hand he touched her's on his face and stroked it. "Its nothing Rangi. It means nothing for us here and now ... its just past ..." he tried to ease her mind. He was aware that the deadly experience in the alternate timeline left mental marks on him, but he tried to hide such feelings ... especially while being together with Rangi. But well ... it seems that he didnt succeed much. "It's not nothing..please dont say that." She stepped forward and felt his arms come around her as she embraced him. "You know I love you.." she said softly looking up into his face "..and I know theres something wrong..won't you tell me ?" "Shadows of the past" he said quietly, "things that happened far away from here long time ago ... very long time ago ...". He looked away from her and stared at a tall tree standing nearby on an artifical glade. He was not such if he could ever forget the two days in the alternate timeline ... all the pain and death ... all the despair. Rangi waited for him to answer, hoping that he would confide in her and trust her. Shane smoothed Rangi's hair and looked at her eyes: "Maybe you are right, I should tell someone." He paused for a moment still reluctant to start telling. "You know, right before the Chimera passed through the artifical anomaly I've got caught by some temporal vortex and found myself in an alternate reality. On the same Chimera ... with the same crew ... the same mission" he paused again, "but in that time the events went a very bad end ..." he ended and stayed quiet. "My darling.." She moved closer to him and laid her head on his shoulder, holding him closely, trying to reassure and comfort him, he who was so much taller than she. "I'm here .." she whispered " please tell me?" Smiling down at the woman he loved he held her tight for a moment and then replied: "I know Milacik ... I know" He didnt want to tell anyone about it ... but Rangi was the one he could share anything with ... even his nightmares. "Short and sweet my love ... in those two days I've seen a debacle. The Chimera never went through the anomaly, we have never rescued the Gott or the General and his away team ... we have never defeated the X!Chi." Seeing those dreadfull images in his head he continued quietly: "Palmer assumed Command on the Chimera, Harker exposed himself as Black Ops and assumed the role of Palmer's XO. The X!Chi changed the timeline and there suddenly was NO Federation ... just a whole quadrant populated by the X!Chi. The Chimera was almost constantly under attack by the X!Chi ... I saw many die ... Athena, Oriana ... {you} ..." he went quiet. Rangi watched the leaves and heard them rustle in the slight breeze.She began to understand a little of what he had experienced and swallowing a lump in her throat she said softly."Athena..Oriana...and..?" Shane was decided not to tell her the whole truth ... {not now} and said what was true ... partly: "Many others ... only few were still alive when they've managed to send me back ..." He turned away from Rangi and looked into the distance. She stood uncertainly watching his back then stepped beside him, taking hold of his hand. She looked down at it. "What would have happened if you 'couldnt' get back. I would have lost you..again." Shane hugged his beloved tight and remained quiet. Only after a while, when the shadow in his mind was pushed back never to return he whispered: "But I am here Milacik, here with you ... and never let you go" Rangi hugged him back and they stood for sometime in that fashion with the leaves falling now and then around them. She wondered if he had told her everything and knew that she would never ask. *** End Log *** Commander Shane Guzman XO USS Chimera & LtCmdr Rangi Summers 2XO/CMO USS Chimera