===== Athena's quarters, USS Chimera ===== Athena was sitting in a chair in her quarters rubbing her pounding temples and her sleepy eyes. It had been a full day and the ship was at red alert but sleep remained ever elusive. She had tried a warm shower and put on a silky blue nightgown that always made her feel calm. She had tried some meditation but pictures of Rob kept intruding. According his own orders, two marines escorted Shane on his way to look after Athena. They joined him immediately as he stepped out the turbo lift and if Shane intended not to break his own orders ... he had to accept the escort for now. Shane knew that Athena was in her quarters, he guessed it and the computer confirmed that upon his request and while science was researching {whatever they were researching} he decided to pay Athena a visit. He could only guess what impact Rob's death would have on her and a certain point made this visit even harder. She will instantly know why is he there, but Shane had no telepathic powers to aid him in his try to comfort her. As Athena heard the door chime she thought {why can't you hang a sorry not in sign on your personal quarters}. She, however, got up and opened the door. She didn't think about what she was wearing, not even when she saw the stunned faces of Shane's escorts. The blue night gown was knee length which wasn't the shocking part, nor was the spaghetti straps. The lace that ran from the low neck line to her navel and between her breast though suggested at quite a lot. She gave Shane a small smile and motioned for him to come in. Shane knew Athena for some time already and he should know better. He knew that Athena wasn't the type of woman who is much interested in conventions and her 'unorthodox ways' were well known on the ship. Shane knew that quite well, but still ... he could not hide his surprise. Well, lets be honest. Surprise is not the best word. Shane was a man, Athena was a beautiful woman and well ... sparsely clad. 'Images' flew through his mind for a moment before his 'will' kicked in and he returned to reality. Not wanting to comment on Athena's outfit in front of the two marines, Shane only raised his eyebrows and looked at her from her feet to head ... pointing to her dress. She looked down at what she was wearing and shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe for your reputation it would be best if I added a robe to this outfit," she said just before her door closed. As soon as the door closed the two marines behind Shane looked at each other with a half hidden grin and thought unison: {Geeeez ... that will be a story worth saying at the evening's beer ... if Summers will get a clue about THIS!} Shane was no truth sayer but he could very well imagine what the two man behind him were thinking. It was true that the situation looked quite 'interesting' and was just the 'perfect' cannon fodder for the rumour mills on board. He turned around and looked at the two marines who's grins were immediate replaced by an 'VERY' neutral facial expression. Shane knew that he might say anything ... they would not believe that and if would make things only worse. So he said only: "You will wait here for me" "Sir, yes, sir" came the VERY right reply. The marines took their place on both sides of the entry door and Shane waited patient for Athena to open the door. She returned and opened the door wearing a matching silky robe that covered her from the base of her neck to her feet. She motioned again for him to enter. Shane smiled at Athena and replied: "Thank you" meaning both the clothes and the invitation. One thing was sure about Athena. She was a beautiful woman and she knew that. Even if now clothed less 'provocative' she was still more attractive then most of the other woman on board. The only one woman more pretty and nice was Rangi. His fair lady Rangi ... As the door closed behind him, Shane looked in Athena's eyes ... {Don't look that way at me ... I am just a man} and said: "I've heard what happened {to Richards}, I am very sorry about that Athena." After a second pause he continued: "I came around to see how you are ..." Normally she would have lied and said fine, but she could sense Shane's genuine concern and caring. More honestly than he expected she answered, "Some where between awful and terrible." She motioned for him to take a seat as she lowered herself to a corner of the sofa and pulled her knees to her chest wrapping her arms around them. Shane was educated in the field of human behavior well enough to realize that Athena's pose was one of defense. Her body just expressed the state of her mind. Wounded and betrayed by life, she encapsulated herself with a mental shield of professionalism ... but still, Shane had the feeling that she might want to talk with him. There was a lot of free space beside her on the sofa, but he thought that Athena might need some space for 'fresh breathing' so he sat himself in the soft armchair next to the sofa. For a moment he thought about what to say in such a situation ... everything seemed to be out of sense now ... "Its a tragedy for Richards and for us all, like every reasonless death among us" he said quietly, "and knowing that you and he were quite close to each other makes it even harder for you" he continued, "but I suppose he fought back like a lion, what he in certain ways really was ..." he said and remained quiet for a while. She broke the silence, "I...I was there," she said softly as the whole thing played over again in her head. Shane looked up at her in mild surprise. The report said that Athena was near the place of the accident, but Shane was not sure if she was there all the time. Only now he realized that she might even been witnessing the very dead moment of the man she was close to. He recalled the report once again before saying: "Richards was a marine, a dammed good marine and he did what he was proud of and trained for ... fighting. I think that if he would choose, he would choose to 'pass' in a fight then in sickbay ..." She started to say something but only ended up nodded her head as she held the tears back yet again. His eyes were full of sorrow toward the woman in front of him. She told him once that she was not too lucky in her love affairs and once she seemed to find the right man for her, she has lost him. What a bad fortune for a single woman. He sighed and said: "I don't know if you believe in things like that, but I believe that the spirit of those who loved one are always with him, protecting him and guarding him forever." Athena put her forehead on the top of her knees; hiding the tears that ran silently down her cheeks. She bit into her bottom her to keep her from sobbing a loud as the tears began to flow more swiftly. Shane knew not what to do. He felt that Athena was in a desperate need of someone close to her, a good friend, but on the other side, she never let anyone (at least what he knew) closer to her then like 'hi how are you today?'. He doesn't want to do something wrong so he approached this matter cautiously. He stood up from the armchair and went over to her. He squatted next to her and looked up, into the direction where the flood of her hair was to see. "I wish I could undo it Athena, but I can't. I can only tell you that you both were lucky to have each other and that even a memory is more then many others have" Only sniffing occasionally the tears kept flowing as she recalled all the things she had sensed in Rob at that last moment. Shane reached for her head and stroked her slightly: "You see, you are a rich woman ... lets take many who never had such a happy time as you had with Richards ..." he said in a slightly more merry tone. Sure, that were only memories, but one had to treasure all the luck one has and ever had. A hoarsely whispered, "I know," passed through the cascade of hair that had also helped to hide her tears. Her lips trembled making her voice sound shaky as she said, "It's ... just a shame ...that ...so many ...people thought he was uncaring." She sighed deeply as she thought about some of his more passionate moments like carting her up that hill when she twisted her ankle. What she wished for most was someone to hold her at a time like this. Shane remembered some 'uncaring' moments connected with Richards, but this was not the time to mention them. TO be honest, besides the matter with Rangi, Richards was a man on his place. Aye, maybe not the best in keeping out orders, but a marine of example. He shrugged slightly: "Richards was hard to understand, but I bet once you got that, he wasn't all like he appeared on the outside," he said quietly. Shane was aware of what would HE need in a situation like that and what he could offer just now. It was even harder cause a certain evening long back on Aurora ... He reached for her hands and squeezed them slightly: "You still have us all ... Rangi, me, Bretam. The old Aurora band ..." She nodded and hugged herself even tighter. She took in a deep breath and let it out very slowly. Although she felt she couldn't risk looking at Shane she said, "I'm sure you have lots to do." It sounded brave and fairly calm considering how she felt and that it was the opposite thing from what she really needed. "Always have Athena" he replied softly. "But I am here and not going anywhere at the moment." He stroked her hair again: "I don't want to see you hidden in some shell ... You ..." he paused considering his words: "You know I like you, I would be very sad if you wouldn't be the merry Athena I know from Aurora ..." Her voice sounded raw and was quiet when she said, "I'll be that person," she took a deep calming breath that didn't improve her voice quality, "again soon." She knew it would be sooner rather than later but she didn't know if she could convince any one of that at the moment. He got up to his feet and sat down the couch next to her. Turning to her he softly put aside some of Athena's hair and reached for her chin. Very softly he tried to push her head up: "Come on Athena, please look at me" he said, "or I will have to be a bad boy and call the marines to aid me." He said in a soft voice. She finally looked up at him. Her face was flush from crying, lack of sleep was becoming evident in her features and her cheeks were damp. She let Shane's warm touch erase some of the emptiness she was feeling. She adjusted how she was sitting on the sofa. Her new position had her sitting right next to Shane and her feet curled under her. She felt Shane tense a bit, but she ignored it. Moments like that were the other side of the 'serving-in-the-fleet' coin. Death and pain were an integral part of an officer's life, especially those serving in the first line service and even more of those who wore the SSF banner on their shoulders. Any death, being it a marine private, fleet ensign or a senior officer meant pain for someone else ... husband, wife, children, lover, parents, relatives, friends ... Athena was wounded on her soul. Shane knew that in Richards she found finally someone she could share things with. Even if he was not happy about it, he realized that the 'bad boy' Richards was just the arch-type of man a woman like Athena always wanted. And now ... he was not here anymore. Shane doesn't even want to imagine what she was feeling, what emptiness there must be in her heart. Softly she started, "You..," she cleared her throat of some of its rawness and continued in the same gentle tone,"...very eloquently put some of what I was feeling." Her head felt like there was a chorus of snare drums beating in an unsteady rhythm. She reached her hand up and brushed some hair away from her wet cheek and rubbed at her temple a little. She laid her heavy feeling head on Shane's shoulder. Shane was glad that he could help Athena a bit to move along. Shane knew how important friends in certain situation are and there he was ... a friend being there for her in the time of grief. But there was something that disturbed him a bit in the deep of his heart. It was a thing he could never get rid of since they 'parted' on THAT evening long time ago on Aurora. He felt the tiniest bit of a certain fear ... fear what might happen ... {A friend ...} The warmth from Shane's body reminded her of the number of times Rob had sat and held her while they talked and a tear slid down her cheek. She wiped the tear away and tried to concentrate on what Shane was saying, but his words sound fuzzy and her vision seemed blurry. Shane was now speaking to her in a soft voice about things that are nice in one's life and that makes it always worth living. He was talking about destiny, one's future and that even if now it looks like desperate, things seldom have just this one side and even the most worse thing can bring some good. He told her that life is always going on and those who are no longer with us always wish for us to go on ... She hardly heard a thing as she had fallen asleep on his shoulder. After being quiet for a while, and looking out the window lost in his own thoughts, Shane realized that Athena was fallen asleep. Her breathing was now regular and on her face was peace ... for the moment. Shane wasn't a champion in weight lifting, nor he was a trained marine, but he tried his luck and gently lifted Athena on his arms from the sofa and slowly walked with her to her bedroom. With some struggling he put her slowly on the bed and straightened himself. {Damned back!} he thought. Athena was still clad, but Shane didn't want to risk anything so he only put the blanket over her body and whispered: "Sweet dreams, Athena". Looking to the exit he suddenly realized that even he was tired to death. It was a VERY long day and he could hardly imagine when he had a decent portion of sleep ... Now the way to his own room seemed miles long, but for Athena's and his own sake, he couldn't possibly stay here ... ===== End of log ===== LT. Athena Wellington Counselor USS Chimera & LtCmdr. Shane Guzman XO USS Chimera