<<Part 2>> ===== Captain's ready room, USS Chimera ===== His anger level striked up as well. He said a bit harder as he intended: "What do you mean with me and Athena? Attracted? You say that I've had something with her? How do you want to know, do you really want to know or are you here just to accuse me?" He gave her an angry look. {Nonsense!} he thought. It wasnt the harshness in his tone, nor the steely look in his eye, both of which Rangi would have dismissed.She would even have understood it, knowing that in an argument such things happened,even between people who loved each other.Her own anger had grown from what she imagined others were saying, not only about Shane but about herself too, for she didnt want either of them to be the object of gossip, of pitying looks or half hidden amused glances.She thought Shane should have realized his actions could have upset her....but then,she understood that.He was after all, a man...and they didnt always think clearly. In all honesty she had expected him to come out with an explanation, to tell her some complicated misunderstanding had occurred, to catch hold of her hands, call her Milacik and say that she should surely know he loved her and would never hurt her.She would have believed him...apologised for her anger...told him she loved him in return, that she was a fool to ever think badly of him.She would have asked forgiveness and they would have kissed and made it up. All of it could have been forgiven and forgotten but for the fact that he crossed his arms on his chest.That one gesture changed everything. Rangi had seen it before and in a similar situation.Rob had sat like that, used almost the same words. He too had become defensive, had avoided her question and then had denied everything. To her horror, Rangi felt her lower lip tremble as her anger disappeared. Blinking away the tears she got to her feet, looked down at Shane and answered quietly: "If this is what you want then who am I to stop you?....but I think I have the right to know...you owe me that much at least." Shane was not in his skin lately. All the events that occured on the ship ... Rangi going MIA for many long hours, CO going MIA, dead crew and aliens rampaging through the ship almost freely took a toll on Shane's nerves and thinking. Later he always wonder {why the heck!?} he has reacted like he did ... Looking at Rangi he havent realised that it no longer anger in Rangi's eyes ... but more like resignation and fear ... but he was still up for retaliation. There was always something ... somthing wrong on him ... at least all the (very few) woman he was in love with in his life finally found something they dont like about him ... always did something to hurt him ... to leave him ... and at this moment Rangi seemed no exception. "What do I want?" he barked, "surely not a girl friend that gets always jealous upon hearing rumours about me and some other woman". Glancing at Rangi he added: "I dont owe you an explanation Rangi, if you dont believe me ... you can believe what ever you want ..." She had never in her wildest imaginings thought that Shane would dismiss her so lightly. "What am I to believe when you tell me nothing?" she asked, smarting from his stinging words."You want me to believe you didnt 'help' her with the 'wet' nightdress that 'clung' to her body?You want me to believe you didnt go into her room when she invited you?..Is that it? " Her eyes were bright and wide. "I suppose if I was to check on ..on...THAT thing..." she waved her hand in the vague direction of the computer.."...it would confirm you spent no more than two minutes in her room...and sat and had a coffee while you were in there!!" She clenched her fists at her side, losing the battle to stay calm and reasonable." Ofcourse I'm jealous of her....I LOVE you...what do you expect me to be?...happy?...do you?" Not waiting for a reply, she spun round hitting her shin on the vacated chair. She shoved it away, hating herself for behaving so childishly, and headed for the door. Shane shook his head puzzled about her words: "What wet nightdress?" he asked with a raised voice. Her words seemed only to confrm his fears ... that she only searched for something to blame him for. "What are you Rangi talking about?". A small thought hit his brain ... about the computer. {Does she know that I have locked the log from Athena's quarters? ... no, she isnt the type to check logs ...} he thought. Seeing her moving hastily away he found no strength to stop her. All just too much resembled things he knew ... HE has to be blamed ... whatever. "I do expect you not to doubt my feelings towards you Commander!" he said a bit loudly, Rangi, almost to the door, slowed, stopped and looked down at the floor. Taking a deep breath she half turned to face him and their gaze locked."You ask alot of me." she told him quietly. "More than you know." Shane shook his head a bit and replied while finally putting his arms to normal: "I thought that trust between us is the fundamental thing for our love. I dont like being blamed for some rumours. If you cant trust me ... how could I expect you to love me?" {I would love you no matter you did} she thought and dropped her eyes, unable to look at him or to answer straight away.When she raised her head again she saw he still watched her. "I...I do love you." she told him and took a step nearer, facing him fully "...and if you were to tell me there's nothing between you and Athena...then I would believe you. " Looking at Rangi for a moment ... Shane's expression softened. Maybe he was wrong ... maybe Rangi isnt like the others ... maybe she's just too deep in love. But his anger could not be forgotten that fast ... he almost did the few steps which were to cover the distance between them two, but remained standing where he was. He smiled slighty and said quietly back: "I love you too Rangi ... you know that. And all what is between me and Athena.........." "Is what?" she asked quietly. " All that is between you and Athena is what Shane? What were you going to say?" Shane paused for a moment not expecting the question. He gave her a puzzled look and replied: "I meant that we are friends and colleagues, just like you and DeSoto ... or Fisher" He paused again and looked a bit strangely at her: "Or is there something YOU want to tell me?" "No." she answered at once, slightly shaking her head. "I told you what happened between Steve and me." She looked away,suddenly aware that that wasnt the whole truth.Somehow she had never found the right time to tell Shane about the encounter she had had with Steve in the turbo lift....when he had told her he loved her still.{Perhaps this is the time} she thought and moved back to her chair.Repositioning it to face Shane, she sat down and looked up at him. "Alright..I have something to tell you...if this is the time for honesty and plain speaking on both sides. There is something you dont know, something I wanted to spare you ever knowing because it means nothing to me...and I thought it would hurt you. Shane sighed: {Here it comes ...} he thought. He sat well ... more fall to a chair by himself and looked at Rangi like a hunted game. He gulped and waited for her to continue without saying something. Suddenly the big XO was gone ... and only Shane remained there in the chair. "Steve told me that he's still in love with me." Shane snapped for air. Looking at Rangi he remained silent for a short while. That was something he was surely not expecting ... sure, he knew about him and Rangi and their little time together on Drakanus, but he always though its over. Rangi mentioned it never again and he had no reason to ask about Steve. He had to bite his tongue not to ask what Rangi's reply was. But with himself asking for trust from her side ... he could not start to doubt on her now. "I dont know what to say Rangi" he said finally honestly. "There's nothing to say." she answered seeing the surprise her words had brought." He told me that he loved me and still does.I dont love him.I told you what happened bewtween us ...and why.I told you I regret it..and I do. Scott is a kind friend, nothing more.We share a companiable working relationship, no more no less.You're free to question them if you wish." She paused,letting her words sink in. Shane sighed. He had never the reason not to trust her ... and now doesnt wanted to start with it. He smiled once again and said: "I dont need to ask him. I trust you Rangi. Its just so .... unexpected" {Why is it?} she asked herself, a puzzled expression flickering on her face {Why unexpected that he could love me?} She looked away. "Well..I see you..." {No...ask him outright.....he's speaking plainly enough} Turning to Shane again she lifted her chin and said. "So ...you kissed her?" {Huh!} Shane thought surpised about the unexpected question: "Whom?" he asked still not quite getting the point. "Athena?" he asked naively in a way that would make shame to all SSF training he got. He blinked: "No! What makes you think that?" he asked in a bit hurt tone. Only a second after he got it all: "Erm ... yes" he said looking at Rangi ... "but long time ago" he added hastily as he saw her expression: "must be some three years back ... before I met you" "I see." The two small words summed up so much.Rangi looked away and after a moment a small smile lifted her lips. "I see." she repeated, looking at Keylors long knife laying on his desk.{He's kissed her...no...then yes..he admits it. Well why are you so surprised? you knew it all along didnt you? you've wondered about it before often enough.He wanted to kiss her...and he did.} Once again Rangi looked levelly at Shane "Before you met me...I see." Shane nodded: "Exact ... before I met you Rangi. And believe me ... since we are together I have never touched her and never ... wanted to." {Its true ... I dont want to, I dont want to} He paused a bit before continueing: "And I never said her that I love her and neighter did she ...never" A long silence ensued."I believe you Shane" Rangi said at last but looking again at the intricate carving on the knife, the slight curve of it, the simple beauty.She lifted her eyes to his.They seemed to look deep into his soul. "I'm surprised you never wanted to touch her.She's very beautiful...very..appealing to a man I would think..and she looks at you Shane..... as though she might like you to." *** End Log *** LtCmdr Shane Guzman XO USS Chimera & LtCmdr Rangi Summers 2XO/CMO USS Chimera